Ben Ralston

Simplicity. Because the revolution will not be televised.

When my wife and I first moved into our hilltop home / retreat center amongst the farmland and forests of Eastern Slovenia, we left our T.V. behind.

Hills, forest, farmland; no tsunami!
We’d decided to simplify…
Our courtship was in an ashram, and the austerity of our lives there brought us face to face and heart to heart and soul to soul in ways that I had dreamt of, yet had not dared dream of.
Our courtship was unlike any other I had experienced – and I’d experienced many; mostly fast and furious, and without real substance. But meeting Petra was like tasting a fruit that I’d never heard of before; it was a totally new, fresh experience, that burst into my senses and spread through my body, mind, and spirit.
We spent 6 months getting to know each other the old fashioned way. Surrounded as we were by Swamis who had taken vows of renunciation (my intention on coming there was to become a Swami myself!) we couldn’t express our feelings for each other in a physical way; we couldn’t even hold hands there!
So we talked when we could, but mostly just ‘tuned in’ to each other’s energy, bathing in the electric awareness of loving presence that seemed to surround us whenever we happened to be in the same room.


It was a magical time; also frustrating as hell! Having grown up in a culture of microwaves, one-night stands, and instant coffee, it was the supreme lesson in patience that I unwittingly needed.
Our first ‘date’ was to the cinema, to see ‘The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe’, chaperoned at the last moment by a Swami who shuffled down the aisle, stepping over people’s legs in the semi-dark, in his orange robes with an orange knapsack, and pulling out a thermos flask to ask, grinning from ear to ear:
“Chai?”
The soundtrack to our courtship was all Kirtan and Indian flute and tabla. And our shared favorite was “I am the eternal seeker of peace, love, and simplicity”. Those three words are on our wedding rings now, even if mine is somewhere in the Atlantic off the coast of the Algarve (long story, another time).
So when we moved in to our new house, we shed our television in the name of simplicity. And so I come to the point of this little story:
Soon after moving in, we met our postman for the first time. Please bear in mind that we live several hundred kilometers from the sea…
The postman sped up the steep hill and turned sharply into our driveway, sending gravel spinning in all directions. He huffed and puffed his way out of the van towards us, immediately sensing that he was stepping into a different world: Petra and I had just spent 2 hours meditating and practicing asanas and pranayama, and were feeling deeply mellow. He was on guard; this was unknown territory… he clocked our car; in those days a mobile advertisement for our yoga business.


He became visibly suspicious.
Handing us our post, he asked us about the car. We explained that we taught yoga, and he immediately asked us, rather indignantly – as if the very idea were some kind of travesty –  if we were vegetarian. When we replied that we were, he looked worried. He questioned us about protein, and didn’t look at all convinced.
Then he glanced at our house.
“You don’t have a t.v. antenna”
“No, we don’t need one, because we don’t have a t.v.”
Incredulous: “You don’t have a TV?!”
Smiling: “No!”
Wide eyed, “But what will you do” glancing furtively over his shoulder “if there’s a Tsunami”!
Now, I have no idea how he thought that a t.v. would help us if a Tsunami magically appeared on our hilltop above the clouds.
No idea. But I realized something very profound that day: Television makes people afraid, whilst reassuring them that they’re safe as long as they watch it.
Insidious.
If love is light, and fear is the shadow in which we all too often get lost, then television can be a serious obstacle between us and the light.
I’m not saying that you should trash the television: but watching it less never hurts, and awareness is all. Petra and I actually have a box in our home now, and the temptation is always there to over-indulge. We use it mostly to watch dvd’s.


Bonus video, Gil Scott Heron’s ‘The Revolution Will Not Be Televised’:

New age neo-tantra bogus yogis… caught in the act!




Caught in the act.

In March 2003 I was in the Bahamas, completing my advanced yoga teacher’s training course. It was an intense month – up at 4.30 every morning; after an hour of advanced pranayama the rest of the day was spent immersed all aspects of Raja Yoga, until late into the evening.
On that course there were two people that I became friends with, (and who shall be the hero and heroine of this particular tragedy). The first, who I shall call Dave, was a fellow Englishman who happened to come from the town where I grew up. The other, who I shall call Maya, was an American woman.
Dave and Maya had quickly developed a flirtatious relationship that seemed slightly out of place in the austere atmosphere of the Ashram – especially since both of them were married…


As the course progressed, I would see them giving each other massages, stroking each other’s hair, and so on –always with an air of, well, purity.
Dave considered himself a healer (albeit without any training or experience), and Maya was a massage therapist. Both had a slightly ‘holier than thou’ attitude that I overlooked, since I was really too busy focusing on surviving the rigors of the course to care all that much. However, in the back of my mind there was a sneaking suspicion that their relationship wasn’t as ‘pure’ as they wanted everyone to believe.
One day, about halfway through the course, a group of us were sitting around chatting after lunch, and Dave and Maya started to tell us all (rather patronizingly) that Tantra was the fastest and best path to enlightenment; that they were going to set up a business together, because they were ‘so deeply karmically connected’; and share their extensive knowledge of Tantra with others in order to make the world a better place.
All of which would be fine, except for the fact that neither of them really knew the first thing about Tantra.
When I asked what this ‘business’ would entail, they told me that they would help couples and individuals attain enlightenment (using Tantric sex). Lofty goals!
Dave told me (and everyone else within earshot) that he was able to hold back his orgasm indefinitely. He authoritatively stated that that was where his ‘power’ came from.
I suggested to them that sex is not the intrinsic aspect of Tantra that many people in the West think; and that perhaps the essence of Tantra is actually nothing to do with gratification, but rather more to do with worship and celebration. I also asked them how they knew so much about Tantra without having had any formal training, but they eluded my questions whilst flirting outrageously and I let it go…
Fast-forward one year. I am back in England; I get a call from Maya. She’s visiting and would love to see Dave and I. We organize a get-together, and after a night out in London, they both end up staying at my house.
In the morning, I make tea for them, and take it up the stairs to the loft conversion where they are sleeping… and as I enter, what do I see?
Dave and Maya fucking like rabbits. I don’t like to swear, but only a swear word can adequately describe what they were doing.
Whether you call it fucking, or shagging, or screwing, or banging though: there was absolutely nothing sacred, spiritual, or enlightened about what they were doing. They were simply going at it, hammer and tongs.
I thought about tiptoeing silently back down the stairs, but you know what? I couldn’t resist surprising them! So I set the tray down quietly at the top of the steps and wished them a hearty “Good Morning!”
The looks on their faces were priceless; rabbits caught (f*cking) in the headlights.
Thankfully, neither of them mentioned Tantra all morning.

‘Auschwitz Dancing’ video: love or fear… a choice we make, every moment.

Do you believe in the possibility of peace on Earth?

I do…

***
This article was inspired by a video sent to me by a friend. That video is at the end of this piece, and if you haven’t already seen it, great! I ask you to read first, and watch later. Then, come back and leave a comment expressing what you felt about the video.

If you have seen the video, great! If you liked it, you’ll get what I have to say. If you didn’t – I ask you to read first, then watch the video again, and see if you still feel the same way…



***
I don’t only believe that it’s possible: I believe that it’s our purpose here, as human beings, to create peace. With our capacity for compassion, understanding, and intelligence we certainly have the potential to be the guardians of this beautiful Garden, our Mother, the Earth.
I think that that conviction is probably what caused my reaction to this video of Adolek Kohn, an 89-year-old Auschwitz survivor, dancing with his daughter and grandchildren at the concentration camps where almost all of his family were ‘exterminated’ 65 years ago. The first time I watched it I thought it was hilarious and uplifting. The second time, my wife and I both cried like babies.
Many people have, I think rather predictably, attacked the video. I don’t judge those people: on the contrary, I fully understand their reactions: we are conditioned to see things as being black and white; good and bad; yes and no, in this society. Why? Because our society is head-based. I’ve written about that in this article on ego, so I won’t go into it again here.
I don’t judge those people, because I know very well how hard it is to escape that conditioning, which tells us we must react in a certain way, to certain things. Like, for example: reacting with shock and horror and respect to the Holocaust, and Auschwitz, and death.
But you know what? That conditioning is what enables Holocausts to happen in the first place! It’s too easy to react to this video in the old, conditioned way… to say:
“Oh, Holocaust. We should be very respectful and quiet and somber…because, you know, that was BAD”
What good does that do? What good does a negative reaction EVER do?
Some people might say that being respectful, and somber, and quiet isn’t a bad or negative thing really. I would answer that we’ve been doing that for a long time, and still there are holocausts happening in the world.
I’ve never visited any of the concentration camps, but I’ve heard it said that there is no birdsong there. As if the weight and darkness of what happened silences any beautiful expression. It’s a somber, quiet, respect-filled place, and the energy of the holocaust remains.
Watching that video was a breath of fresh air. People laughing, dancing, singing, having fun, and enjoying life. I couldn’t help thinking: “Hitler must be turning in his grave”!
If he is turning in his grave, I bet the people who died in those camps are dancing for joy in theirs!
To transform the energy of hate, we have to let go of the energy that created it. Collectively.
As Einstein said: “you cannot solve a problem, by using the same consciousness that created it”.
In other words, being heavy, and dark, and somber isn’t going to change anything. It isn’t going to make the world a better place.
I believe that dancing, and celebration, and laughter will.
In any case, to the people who attack this video, I say this:
Adolek Kohn was there 65 years ago. He is still here.
If that dear old man, who went through what he did, wants to dance and laugh with his grandchildren in that place, I salute him. What courage it must have taken, to come full circle and return there without hate.
I consider it one of the greatest honors of my life to have seen him doing that, and I thank his family, from the bottom of my heart, for making this video:

‘Self sabotage: when your best intentions come undone’.


Once upon a time, in a land not so far away…


***

… a little girl drove through the city suburbs with her parents. As they passed through the wealthiest area, her Mother pointed to the big houses and said:
“You see this – this is where the bad people live”.
That girl grew up into a beautiful woman who somehow never seemed to have enough money!
***
… There was a very young boy who thought that his Father was an all-powerful Superhero! He loved his Father so much that he lived for the moments when He spent time with him; played with him; gave him attention. Unfortunately his Father was A Very Busy Man, and those moments only came when the boy was sick, injured, or in trouble.
When that boy grew up, he was unable to see how beautiful he was: he believed that he was only deserving of love, attention and play, if he was sick, injured, or in trouble. He spent many years constantly sick, injured, or in trouble, without knowing why!..
***

… A sensitive, emotional boy wanted nothing more than to play and enjoy his childhood. His Father didn’t want a sensitive, emotional boy – he wanted a tough, hard boy, because he thought that the world was tough and hard. So he told his son all the time that he was useless, and he didn’t let him play – his boy had to work all the time so that he would become tough and hard. So guess what? That boy grew into a man who always felt useless, and only ever wanted to hide, escape, and play!
***
… A curious 5 year old girl was at kindergarten. It was rest time, and all the children were laying down under blankets to have a nap. Our heroine lay on her belly, and began to feel a strange sensation in her abdomen. It was her first experience of sexual energy, and it felt wonderful! She wanted to explore this new gift. Under the blanket she pulled her pants down and began to play with that energy.
Unfortunately the teacher saw what she was doing and whipped the blanket away to expose and humiliate her in front of the whole class.
That little girl grew into a woman who found it very difficult to enjoy sex…
***
These are true stories which I use here to illustrate how our underlying attitudes are sometimes ‘ruled’ by subconscious beliefs and associations, which in turn dominate our lives. This is what I refer to as a ‘subconscious blockage’. To be clear: the above four people came to me because they had problems in their life with wealth, health , self esteem, and sex, in that order. Clearing people’s subconscious blockages is part of my work as a healer.
Other examples of very common blockages are those towards success; failure; and change.
A blockage towards success might manifest itself as persistent ‘bad luck’. You might always be just that one step away from achieving what you want – but never quite getting there.
A blockage towards failure might look the same as the blockage towards success (never achieving the results you would like) but it happens for a different reason: because you are afraid of failing, you never really commit yourself fully. Perhaps life without success is simply more ‘comfortable’ than the possibility of failure?
In 3 months, I will be a Father. I am delighted and overjoyed, and have been since my wife and I found out. However, the impeding BIG CHANGE also helped me to discover in myself (and heal) a BIG FEAR, which you can read about here. 
I once saw someone wearing a T-shirt with the words “Your parents fuck you up. They may not mean to, but they do,” printed on the back.
There’s some truth written on that T-shirt!
However, it’s not our parent’s faults – on the contrary: they inherited their issues from your Grandparents, who inherited them from your Great Grandparents, and it’s just a pattern that goes on and on, far back through our ancestors. It’s also not only the parents that do the damage… it can be teachers, other family members, neighbors, and institutions (such as a church.
The fact is that our society is really in a big, big mess.
It doesn’t value the heart. It doesn’t value spirit. It doesn’t value value!
Our society does value power, sex, and fame. It values quantity over quality; history over truth; appearance over reality; drama, controversy, and sensationalism over harmony. It has been doing this for a very long time. The result? Corruption, greed, and ignorance at the very root of our daily experience: at home, at school, and in the media.
So it’s not our parent’s fault at all. If they were mis-educated themselves, how could they know better?
In fact, the real issue is not whose fault it is, but what WE are doing about it.
It’s time for us to really look at the situation honestly. We owe it to our children to do so.
Can we afford to continue repeating the same old patterns again and again? The same patterns of abuse, aggression, fear, corruption…
Or should we think a bit more deeply about what could be – about our potential as a species – about the possibilities for humankind?
My purpose in writing this is not to frighten the hell out of you, nor is it to make you introspect to the point of gazing at your navel!
The real intention behind all my work is to inspire and motivate people towards the kind of profound, lasting healing that I know is possible.
I have found that there is a new paradigm of alternative healing  emerging, based on the unprecedented new relationship slowly being formed between science and spirituality. Those two age-old enemies have begun to realize that they have actually been saying the same thing all along, only in different languages.
Slowly, they are beginning to speak in the same tongue, and the results are really quite astonishing. For example, various spiritual traditions have spoken for many thousands of years about body-consciousness. Science has recently found that the cells of our body carry memory (and therefore consciousness). For a remarkable example, read this article on epigenetics  from Time magazine (It also explains very well what I mean when I say that very often, our blockages are inherited).
This merging of the boundaries between science and spirituality has led to a revolution in healing, that means it is faster and easier than ever before to let go of these old blockages and patterns that hold us back.
We are innately perfect. We are pure consciousness. You are pure, perfect, divine consciousness. You were born that way, and you will always remain that way.
The reason why you sometimes don’t feel perfect and divine is that mankind has forgotten it’s essence – it’s divine nature. But the truth is, as is written in the bible – we were created in the image of God.
So, if we’re really perfect, all we need to do is let go of all that is blocking us from our experience of perfection, and remember our essential nature!
That is what the new paradigm of healing is all about: simply letting go of the blockages.
It means that the old paradigm – which said that healing was hard work; took a long time; and could only be done by ‘special’ people – is redundant. It is now possible to transform limiting blockages into unlimited potential.
My belief is that we will not change the world into a more peaceful place until we do this work on ourselves. All the anti-war protests, angry environmentalist blog articles, and political posturing do very little to support real, lasting change.
I believe that is why Mother Theresa  said:
“…I don’t participate in anti-war demonstrations… as soon as you have a pro-peace rally, I’ll be there.”
We need to free ourselves from the violence, greed, and selfishness that is within, before we can hope to see our love manifest outwardly.
What do you think – have you experienced letting go, or healing, of subconscious blockages? Please feel free to share your experiences, thoughts, and ideas by leaving a comment.

SELF-AWARENESS

The purpose of life.



We all know that moment of bliss, where our ego melts away and all that is left is a feeling of absolute unity, complete perfection, perfect love. We all know it, because it’s in all of us – it’s our nature; our essence.
The real question is – how to expand that moment until it becomes our primary experience, rather than just a fleeting, occasional glimpse…?





The truth is, we have been educated NOT to experience it fully. Our society is focused on only one aspect of human ‘beingness ‘: the rational, masculine, aspect. We need to re-acquaint ourselves with the feminine, intuitive aspect.
It’s as Einstein said:
“The rational mind is a faithful servant. The intuitive mind is a sacred gift. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift.”


So the answer to the above question is: we have to re-educate ourselves.
It takes training, discipline, and perseverance.
That’s the bad news.
The good news is that when we begin that work, when we step onto that path, and start to re-shape ourselves back into the ‘image of God’ – the divine essence of who we really are… then we are already walking our life path. Fulfilling our purpose here in life and on earth.
That’s what we are here for – to know ourselves better; to become self-aware.


Our focus then turns to the question: ‘Who Am I?’


And as the answer to that question unfolds, life becomes ever more joyful…
Please, leave a comment.