Ben Ralston

  • About Ben
    • Ben on Video
    • Ben on Elephant Journal
  • Sangha
  • Work with Ben
  • Resources
  • Testimonials
  • Contact
    • Facebook
    • Youtube

Jan 17 2012

Newspaper interview re: RPT

I was interviewed recently about Reference Point Therapy for a national newspaper. The journalist asked some excellent questions, so I decided to write up the transcript of the interview for a blog post.
Here it is:

–       RPT is the fastest and most efficient method in the world for healing trauma. On what is it based?
It is based on two things – the science of epigenetics (which has proven that ancestral trauma directly affects our own life), and the ancient wisdom of many spiritual traditions, which assert that the essence of the human being is pure consciousness.
–       What kind of traumas can be healed in this way? Is this specific traumas – like car accidents or death – or can there also be subconscious traumas that block the individuals development.
Well, so far it seems that any kind of trauma may be healed with this method. The only kind of trauma that we have no experience trying to heal yet is the Post Traumatic Stress Disorder of soldiers returning from combat (we simply didn’t have the opportunity to work on this yet). But car accidents, grief, serious abuse trauma (sexual, physical, emotional, etc), childhood abandonment and neglect… I have not come across any kind of trauma yet that was not healed with this method. And yes, subconscious traumas do block our development, and it is the very purpose of RPT to unblock our development!
–       Do you perhaps know the answer to the question “ why some people are more prone to accidents / bad things happening to them”. Is this perhaps to do with subconscious blockages, energy which attracts these things?
As a matter of fact, I do! The human being is made up of energy (consciousness). When we experience our highest potential (pure consciousness), we vibrate energetically in ‘tune’ with the world around us. But when our experience is blocked by the effects of unresolved trauma, we vibrate at a much lower level – and there is no ‘flow’. Being ‘in the zone’ is a well known expression – some people live in the zone. Others experience is fleetingly, but we all understand that it is possible. Ultimately, the extent to which we are able to live in the zone is the extent to which we have resolved our trauma. So yes, it is very much to do with subconscious blockages that attract ‘negative’ experiences. Although life is messy, and there will always be experiences that we would choose not to have – but a person who has a high level of consciousness will cope much better than someone who has many unresolved issues.
–       How does the session look? How long is it on average? How is it different from other therapies, which are recommendable for eliminating traumatic events, (for example classical psychotherapy).
The session is entirely talk-based. On average it is 90 minutes, but this depends on the therapist. It is most notably different from other types of trauma therapy in that the actual trauma (what happened) is not ‘relived’. The therapist only needs to know that something happened (trauma). The nature of the trauma is irrelevant – because actually, we cannot heal the trauma itself (we cannot make it go away – because it happened, and we can’t change that!). What we can change is how it makes us feel now (the consequences of the trauma). Another notable difference is that unlike many other methods that take a long time to heal trauma (for example classical psychotherapy), RPT is very fast. Trauma can often be healed permanently in just one session – this is because we get right to the cause of the problem. And the cause of the problem, in case you are wondering, is survival instincts.
–       People often are not aware how traumas from the past define us. And they can’t even put them into words. In what way does the therapist pull out trauma from a client which he isn’t even aware of.
First of all, part of the training of an RPT therapist is in the development of intuition. So in the rare case that a client really has no idea what causes their problem, I am always able to tell them! However, I find that almost every client knows just as much as they need to know in order to heal themselves (with my help). If something is forgotten, it is because it is no longer needed. And RPT gives us the precise tools to be able to access exactly what we need to access in order to heal our problems and raise our consciousness.
–       Can you perhaps give an example of the positive effects of the therapy (of course without names) or maybe in general. How does the person who came to the session with deep trauma feel when it’s no longer there. How perhaps does his thinking change, and his behavior?
One client had a 20-year history of clinical depression, and had attempted suicide. When she came to me she had tried countless different types of medical and alternative healing / therapy, including pharmaceutical drugs. Nothing helped. After one session she was healed (the cause had been childhood abuse trauma), and when I saw her again 18 months later (recently) she remains free of depression. I also found out that she had been diagnosed (18 months ago) with a serious thyroid problem that required surgery. After our session, her thyroid was also healed, and remains so to this day, as evidenced by regular medical check-ups. This is just one example of many such ‘miraculous’ cases. It seems miraculous on the surface, but actually, when you understand that trauma is responsible for most of our problems, it is no miracle at all!
How does the person feel after healing – lighter, less burdened. The feeling is usually subtle (no fireworks or hysteria!), but there is a definite transformation. They will notice that the change is apparent in every area of their life: relationships, self-esteem, clarity of thought, emotional reactions… because what has changed is the person themself. They are more themself now. So everything changes, in a subtle, but powerful and positive way – and most importantly, the change is permanent.
–       Some people, on certain points of their lives, can no longer go on. They are controlled by fears, for which they don’t have a reasonable explanation. Can these blockages have as their source, unconscious trauma.
Almost all subconscious blockages are caused by the effects of unresolved trauma.
–       The therapy is based on the science of consciousness. Does it work in spite of the fact that the client does not believe in it.
It is not necessary to believe anything for RPT to work! Any therapy that requires belief on the part of the client in order to be successful relies on the placebo effect. RPT recognizes the placebo effect, and is far more successful than placebo based therapies. One of the reasons for this is that with RPT we also recognize that a person can only heal a problem when they take responsibility for it – in fact, taking responsibility is the first step (and the hardest). So taking responsibility is what is necessary, and actually, it is the opposite of belief!
–       Can we help ourselves with this therapy also with physical problems.
Yes, because the physical body is also an expression (albeit, a material expression) of consciousness. Problems that manifest in the body are almost always first experienced on the mental and emotional level, but we suppress them. The body then has no choice but to show symptoms on the physical level. All aspects of us are made up of consciousness, and when we heal the subconscious blockage, all aspects of us are healed – mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual.
–       In what way can we use the method in our profession and maybe also in general in more positive way of living or acting?
This is a very good question. Really, you are asking whether this technique is only for people with ‘problems’, and the answer is emphatically ‘no’! Despite enjoying wonderful physical, emotional, and mental health, I continue to practice this method on myself. Why? Because as we raise our consciousness by becoming more aware, and by releasing our fears, we enjoy greater levels of joy, inner peace, and abundance. For me, RPT is much more than a therapy. It is a unique method of personal development and spiritual growth.

Written by Ben Ralston · Categorized: alternative healing, consciousness, energy, grounded spirituality, Happiness, health, Reference Point Therapy, Uncategorized

Nov 18 2011

Strong feelings of Anger, Suspicion, and Anxiety – cleared in one session.

Great client (thank you Becky!), great results, great testimonial. Unfortunately my technical skills are not so great so it’s a poor quality video, but I think you can see enough to know what worked and what didn’t!

To summarize: I did one session a little over a month ago with Becky, and a week later we did a short follow up session (included in price of the first session: part of the deal when you book a session with me).

So all in all a little over 2 hours of work together.

3 separate big problems: feelings of anger (measured a month ago as 9/10), anxiety (8/10) and suspicion / distrust (10/10) cleared in one session. If that isn’t a good result I don’t know what is!

Written by Ben Ralston · Categorized: alternative healing, anger, healing, health, Reference Point Therapy, Uncategorized

Sep 27 2011

Pure beauty (A poem by Ben Ralston)



Beauty is not something you buy in the aisles of drug stores,
Or (cosmetic) surgeries,
Or anywhere,
In fact.
Beauty is a feeling, deep within;
An overflowing, slow-flowing surge
that lifts and burns and Devours
With subtlety.
Pure beauty is the essence of life itself:
Show me a living being, and I’ll show you Beautiful.
Because when you feel that surge within
All of without is moved by it.
Beauty is the light that guides your eyes,
The waves that open your ears,
The nerves that soften your skin.

Beauty
Is
That which feels.
We all want beauty.
But it’s in our desire to own it
That we lose sight
Of the only place it can really be found…




Written by Ben Ralston · Categorized: awareness, beingness, Happiness, health, poetry, Uncategorized

Aug 12 2011

How your personal views are worthless (and why you should probably re-think everything you think you know)


I once believed that:
If I don’t wear shoes, I’ll hurt my feet.
If I don’t keep warm, I’ll catch a cold.
I only need to practice yoga to stay fit and healthy.
I only need to stay fit and healthy to be happy.
What’s good for me is good for everyone.


When I was at school I had a friend who was, to be honest, an asshole. He once hawked up a big green lump of phlegm out of the depths of his chest and spat it full in my face. Yes, that kind of asshole. But he was nevertheless my friend, and I loved him, and somehow still do (although we’ve long since lost touch).
He once told me this saying, and it’s stuck with me ever since:
The more you study, the more you learn. The more you learn, the more you know. The more you know, the more you forget. The more you forget, the less you know. So why bother?
Of course it’s a bit silly, but when I heard it then it felt very right. Perhaps because at that time the whole adult world seemed to be pitted in a deadly struggle to teach me crap. Parents, teachers, extended family, family friends, and distant relatives were all hell-bent on cramming my head full of algebra, geology, ancient history and chemistry, at a time when all I really wanted to do was climb trees.
Many years later I read the classic book ‘I Am That’, by Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj, and the following line changed my life:
“Love says ‘I am everything’. Wisdom says ‘I am nothing’. Between the two, my life flows.”
Socrates said:
“All I know is that I know nothing”.
Such simplicity. Such beauty. Such wisdom.
That’s the kind of ancient history I am interested in… 

Shoes.



Of course, if you don’t wear shoes, you hurt your feet, right? It’s only logical.
There’s another way. Develop faith, and walk down a jungle-covered Indian mountain barefoot.
I also once got high (long time ago), and ran full speed down a narrow, steep, crooked and uneven footpath, (tree roots, rocks, and all) in the pitch dark. The odds of my making it down in one piece were probably about a billion to one. “But” as it says in the bible, “with faith, anything is possible”. (Mathew 19; 26)

Cold.

That’s why they call it ‘a cold’ isn’t it? If you get cold, you get a cold, right? Right!
Except, if you raise your energy, develop a strong immune system, and have faith, you don’t ever get colds (or, very rarely).
When I believed this one, I used to keep warm. I also used to get a lot of colds, flu’s, and throat problems. Now, I rarely dress ‘sensibly’, and I hardly ever get sick.

Fit and Healthy.

Many times in my life I thought I found The Answer. You know, the answer to all our problems – Life, The Universe, and Everything. But the truth is, there is no answer. The question is the answer, because in the asking of the question we find another question, and it’s in the very asking of questions that we find our purpose (isn’t it?). So every time you think you’ve found that answer, think again. The part of us that likes to believe in answers is our Ego. So what would happen is, my Ego would find The Answer, and then a little while later I’d realize that The Answer didn’t actually answer all the questions after all, and I’d set off in search of The Answer all over again. This is the definition of suffering isn’t it? It’s certainly one definition of insanity.
Nowadays, I very much concur with Carlos Castaneda / Don Juan’s secret to staying fit and healthy:
“The secret to having a healthy body is in what you don’t do”.

Happy.

It’s been told a million times by a million people better than myself, but I’ll say it again: happiness is an inside job.
‘There is no path to happiness. Happiness is the path.’
That said, I’ve found something very interesting in my time thus far on Earth: we are innately happy beings. Given a natural, peaceful biological development (from conception to adulthood), and a supportive and loving upbringing / education, we cannot fail to be happy.
How many of us had those two simple things? Very few. Instead we have almost all of us experienced abuse and trauma, and trauma disconnects us from our happy Self.
So, yes, happiness is inside us already, waiting to come out, and yes, in that sense, Self Help or Personal Development is a waste of time, but you know what? Until you’ve healed the trauma, the happiness is hiding. Like the Sun behind the clouds.

Good.

Another cliché: ‘human beings are like snowflakes’.
Yes, cliché but true. No two of us are the same. Even if you take the most identical identical twins, they are deeply different; each unique. And as different as we all are, we are also all on different paths, and at different stages of the path. So no, there is no ‘one size fits all’ in this life.
One of the things that brought this home to me very clearly was a comment that a reader left after my article The 3 Reasons to be a Vegetarian. Calling himself simply ‘Omnivore’, this person said that despite having had been raised a vegetarian; and despite believing completely in everything that my article espoused; and despite having eaten the perfect ‘textbook’ vegetarian diet; he needed meat, and when he started eating meat, his health and sense of well-being improved greatly. He went from ‘surviving to thriving’. His comment helped me to understand that there is no right way to eat. (I thought I’d been writing The Truth, The Answer). It also helped me to find a better way for me to eat. Changing this belief – a strong viewpoint that I’d taught in seminars – wasn’t easy. But it was liberating.
What this world needs like a hole in the head is more beliefs, views, and opinions.
What this world desperately needs is more people who love themselves and each other and the world around them, regardless of views, beliefs, and opinions.
Please spread the love by leaving a comment.
Share, ‘like’, Tweet and ‘Stumble’ it.
Thank you!

Written by Ben Ralston · Categorized: Change, conditioning, faith, healing, health, love, Uncategorized, wisdom

Aug 12 2011

The reason why most alternative healing doesn’t work: Secondary Gain


 Secondary Gain is a medical term. If you ask a doctor what it means, they’ll know. If you ask a Reiki practitioner, they probably won’t. That’s because it’s a concept that the world of alternative healing has generally not woken up to yet. I believe it’s also one of the main reasons why: most alternative healing doesn’t work; and most personal development methods are inefficient. *
What is secondary gain exactly?
Secondary gain** may be defined as ‘a hidden benefit that is derived from the problem’.
The best example I can give is the one Simon Rose (founder of Reference Point Therapy) gave me when he taught me RPT. It is a true story.
There was an old lady who had cancer. Despite the fact that she had expert care her condition did not improve – against all expectation. When asked the simple (and seemingly ridiculous) question:
“What would you lose if the cancer was healed” she finally replied:
“I would be lonely again”.
Before the diagnosis of cancer, she had been very lonely. When they found out that she was ill, her grandchildren began to visit her daily. Faced with the simple choice between cancer and loneliness, she (subconsciously) chose cancer.



The hidden benefit to her problem – the secondary gain – was quite simply that the quality of her life was improved by her cancer. She was no longer lonely.
Other examples include:
“If my bad back was fixed, I’d have to go to work”…
and:
“If my headaches stopped, I’d have to start having sex with my husband again” (another real-life example!)
Why is this an important issue?
Let’s face it – we all have problems from time to time. Whether physical, emotional, or psychological, challenges are (a big) part of life.
It is many people’s experience that the initial hope and euphoria – so often experienced immediately after a healing session (or therapy, or personal development) – fades, and the symptoms return.
The most common reason for this is secondary gain.
You may well find the root cause of your problem. You may well effectively heal it. But if the secondary gain is not released you will probably not see any long term change in the symptoms – because subconsciously you are choosing to hold onto them.
Honestly, I have lost count of the number of clients (and even personal problems) whose healing has ultimately come down to secondary gain. Very often you need only heal the secondary gain of a problem in order to watch it just fall away – secondary gain is all that’s holding it in place.
I’ll leave you with another example. I’m working with a client at the moment who has advanced liver cancer. She’s 31 years old, has a 3 year old child, and the doctors have told her that there’s nothing they can do. Personally, I believe that there is almost always something we can do; if we know the cause of something, we can undo it.
When I began to explore the concept of secondary gain with her, she knew exactly what I meant: she had a list of things that were benefits of the cancer:
She makes friends more easily now that she’s sick; has a great excuse as to why her career is at a standstill; and she gets her husband’s undivided attention without having to ask for it.
In this case I worked on the trauma of these secondary gains: making friends (she’s an introvert), having a career at standstill (she wants to work), and being assertive / getting attention when needed (she had an issue with looking like an ‘attention seeker’ when expressing her needs and desires).
Of course, I’ve done much more than just work on secondary gain with her, but already there have been some dramatic changes. An chronic shoulder pain (interestingly, directly behind the breast that was the original source of the cancer) has disappeared; and an old breathing difficulty has cleared up.
Edit: since originally writing this, she had a blood test. Whereas before her blood was always weak, the doctors told her now that it is ‘perfect’. (This is after some very strong chemotherapy, which would normally weaken the blood further).
I’m confident that this is going to be another case of ‘miraculous’ healing. I’ll let you know.
However, the point of this article is this: every cloud has a silver lining. Even our greatest fears and worst nightmares can bring us some kind of benefit, especially when they are old problems that we become accustomed to.
Sometimes, we choose subconsciously to hold on to the benefit, even though consciously we don’t want to.
Do you have an old problem – physical or emotional – that you can’t seem to solve? Can you think of any benefit to it? If you solved the problem, what would you loose? Please feel free to leave a comment (even anonymously) and I’ll see if I can help.
Spread the love: leave a comment, share, ‘like’, Tweet, and Stumble it (using the ‘share this’ button below). Thank you!
* – I realize this is a controversial, and somewhat incontrovertible point: however, I believe that most alternative healing modalities and practitioners are less effective than a placebo! A great deal of scientific research has shown that placebos are around 30-40% effective! I think that if we’re really honest about our experiences with alternative healing we can say that very few healers or therapists are able to guarantee successful results (by which I simply mean permanent healing) in over 40% of their clients.

** – For the purpose of simplicity I am rolling Primary gain, Secondary gain and Tertiary gain into one.

Written by Ben Ralston · Categorized: alternative healing, blockages, consciousness, healing, health, Uncategorized

  • 1
  • 2
  • Next Page »

© Copyright 2016 Ben Ralston · All Rights Reserved · Photos by Catherine Adam ·