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|Photo credit: Peter Watts|
It’s taboo. It makes us feel uncomfortable.
But the statistics are staggering: it is estimated that 25% of girls and 17% of boys are sexually abused before the age of 18*.
The reason I want to write about this is that if you were abused, or if you know someone who was abused, I CAN HELP.
I am also one of those statistics: I was sexually abused by a teacher who became a ‘family friend’. From the age of 10 until about 16 I was repeatedly molested…
Sexual abuse causes us to feel small, powerless, weak, lonely, isolated, ashamed, guilty, and depressed. When it happens to a child there is a loss of innocence, a loss of trust, and a loss of openness. The results can be devastating…
I lived with the abuse for about 6 years. I lived with the consequences of that abuse for about 15 years before I told anyone. And that is what almost always happens – the abused child keeps quiet about it.
So many adults; people you know, have been abused as children, and have never told anyone. They live with that secret shame, guilt, and depression hidden deep in their subconscious. In my case it was so deeply hidden I had almost forgotten that it even happened! One day I suddenly remembered – “oh my God, I was sexually abused as a child!”
HOW CAN I HELP?
Until now, people who wanted to help themselves get over the consequences of abuse usually went to see a counsellor or a psychotherapist. They often had to spend many sessions, a lot of money, and a lot of time and energy reliving the trauma of those events. Often, the therapy was slow and inefficient. Why? Because most it focused on the trauma. In some cases, it actually re-inforced the trauma!
Well guess what? The trauma itself is not the problem! The trauma itself is in the past. It is what we have left over from the trauma, in the present – with us still, that is the real problem.
Trauma causes pain. It is the pain that is the problem – when we suppress that pain (as a defensive or survival mechanism) into our subconscious, we create a blockage. That subconscious blockage is the problem – it is often the cause of mental and emotional anguish; inability to trust; difficulty in letting go / relaxing; blockages towards sex and relationships; and many other very serious problems. These problems often lock people into a very difficult and painful cycle of abuse which can seem hopeless. But it’s not!
The point is: the trauma itself: the actual abuse, IS NOT THE CAUSE OF THE PROBLEMS – THE SUPPRESSED PAIN IS.
So, how can I help?
Well, I can help people to release that subconscious blockage – the suppressed pain – so that they can live their life FREE of the trauma of abuse. Not only that, but I can help them to strengthen their boundaries so that they no longer need to worry about being abused again. Because it’s a fact that people who are abused tend to get caught up in a cycle of abuse.
I met a woman who had 20 years of weekly psychotherapy sessions. She was constantly reliving the trauma of her childhood sexual abuse. Not only that – she had been abused in many ways, by many different people, throughout her adult life.
In one session of Reference Point Therapy (RPT), she freed herself from all of that.
Now, I am not promising that one session is always enough. Nor am I saying that other therapies don’t work – please don’t misunderstand me. I know that there are other good therapists and healers out there!
However, there is a new way which is very fast, very simple, and very efficient. And it’s particularly useful for people who have been sexually abused – because they don’t have to talk about the abuse. The abuse – the trauma itself – is not the problem. And that’s great, because one of the reasons why people in the past didn’t even go to see a counselor is that it’s embarrassing and painful talking about what happened.
When a Reference Point Therapist heals trauma, s/he doesn’t need to know much about the trauma itself – it’s the feelings (pain) that came up at that time that are the real cause of the problem. All the information I need is:
- what happened (abuse)
- roughly when it happened (i.e. – about 10 years old)