What is the most important event of your life?
– in terms of the impact that it had on your physical, emotional, psychological, and spiritual development.
Shall I tell you?
Your birth.
How, with whom, where and when, in what manner, and under what circumstances you were born are the most influential factors in the development of a human being…
Of course, everything in one’s life is important. Everything has a cause, or countless causes, as well as countless repercussions: because everything in this world is interconnected with everything else!
However, there is an ancient wisdom (in many cultures) stating that the manner in which something is begun, reflects the manner in which it will continue.
I have no doubt that the way we are born echoes through the rest of our life.
The reason I am thinking about this, investigating, researching, and now writing about it at the moment, is because my wife and I are looking into ways to birth our first child, due in November.
I have read some books about childbirth, seen some movies, met a doula, and visited a birth center. What I have found out is very, very interesting.
I will soon write an article giving you that information, because it has really affected me deeply. I now believe that the most important thing we can do for ourselves, our children, our society, and the Earth herself, is change the way we think about birth.
Why? Because most people these days are born in sterile, cold, bright, harsh, impatient, hurried, and unfriendly circumstances. Is it any wonder that our society is getting faster and faster, less and less friendly, more and more mechanical?
Is it possible that if we start birthing all our children naturally – slowly and gently, lovingly, with patience and without worry, that perhaps our society would also reflect that change?
I first started to think about all this several years ago when I heard Tony Samara explaining that Western medicine views birth as a ‘procedure’; whereas all ancient cultures used to view it as a sacred ceremony. That really got me thinking…
Recently, I had an experience in meditation in which I re-experienced my birth. I felt as if I was being pulled by the head so hard that my body would detach.
Later, I found out from my Mother that forceps were used to pull me out from her body.
I know, that experience, as I emerged for the first time into this world, shaped the pattern of addiction that affected me for several years.
In the next article about birthing, I will explain in detail what I believe were the consequences of that moment in my life; what we can all do to improve birthing in our society; and I will also tell you how you can see two movies about natural birth for free. These films are quite simply two of the most beautiful movies I have ever seen in my life, and I am looking forward to sharing them with you.
With love,
Ben
Do you have anything to say about this – perhaps you have experienced ‘rebirthing’ (which I haven’t); perhaps you have a different view towards childbirth? Please share with me and other readers by leaving a comment. Thank you!
LIfe is a wave; surf it elegantly, or cling to flotsam?
The only thing that is constant in this life is change.
Nothing stays the same. Nothing lasts. Nothing is guaranteed.
The world – by which I mean the body; mind; emotions; senses; desires; atmosphere; season; environment; climate; people; economy; society; the family; the earth; the WHOLE WORLD – is constantly changing.
That change is very simply the nature of the world we live in. The universe is expanding, and we have learnt to think of ourselves as a static point within a changing world, but what is that static point really?
We are also changing all the time. Every cell in the body, right now, as you sit reading this, is either regenerating or decaying. No single cell, no single part of your body, will be the same now as it was when you began reading this sentence!
It’s almost as if we are riding on a wave of change. Can you feel it?
There IS a point of stillness – a static point within all the movement – but it’s not what most people think it is. It’s not the human being that we think we are, that we associate ourselves with, that’s constant. It’s the awareness behind the human experience that remains unchanged, and untouched by the world.
This human life is a wave that we ride for a short while. The more we allow ourselves to be aware of that, the easier our lives become. Because whether we like it or not, the wave rises and falls. Whether we like it or not, the world around us changes, unpredictably, relentlessly, inevitably. How we accept that change; how we surrender to it; and how we learn to love it as part of the nature of this life, depends entirely on what we cling to.
We are each of us riding the wave of our life, in an ocean of unpredictable, inevitable change.
Most of us cling to the belief that we are the body; or that we are the mind; that we are our work; or that we are our personality. If so, at some point that little ‘life-raft’ that we cling to will disintegrate, and we will be left alone with the realization that the wave is all there is. Then, we either surrender and go with the flow, or, we start looking desperately for something else to cling to!
Usually, our suffering is the result of our clinging – and life brings us the perfect lessons that we need to stop clinging. I don’t know why, but it seems that life itself is a lesson in detachment. Sometimes it can seem very harsh, but that’s usually because there’s simply something we don’t want to let go of !
In the Bhagavad Gita, it is written: “Yoga is skill in action”. I believe that surfing elegantly over the wave of life, without attachment, without clinging, is skill in action; the ultimate yoga.
I’d love to know what you think…
With love,
Ben
‘Self sabotage: when your best intentions come undone’.
***
… A sensitive, emotional boy wanted nothing more than to play and enjoy his childhood. His Father didn’t want a sensitive, emotional boy – he wanted a tough, hard boy, because he thought that the world was tough and hard. So he told his son all the time that he was useless, and he didn’t let him play – his boy had to work all the time so that he would become tough and hard. So guess what? That boy grew into a man who always felt useless, and only ever wanted to hide, escape, and play!
SELF-AWARENESS
We all know that moment of bliss, where our ego melts away and all that is left is a feeling of absolute unity, complete perfection, perfect love. We all know it, because it’s in all of us – it’s our nature; our essence.
The real question is – how to expand that moment until it becomes our primary experience, rather than just a fleeting, occasional glimpse…?
The truth is, we have been educated NOT to experience it fully. Our society is focused on only one aspect of human ‘beingness ‘: the rational, masculine, aspect. We need to re-acquaint ourselves with the feminine, intuitive aspect.
It’s as Einstein said:
“The rational mind is a faithful servant. The intuitive mind is a sacred gift. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift.”
So the answer to the above question is: we have to re-educate ourselves.
It takes training, discipline, and perseverance.
That’s the bad news.
The good news is that when we begin that work, when we step onto that path, and start to re-shape ourselves back into the ‘image of God’ – the divine essence of who we really are… then we are already walking our life path. Fulfilling our purpose here in life and on earth.
That’s what we are here for – to know ourselves better; to become self-aware.
Our focus then turns to the question: ‘Who Am I?’
And as the answer to that question unfolds, life becomes ever more joyful…
Please, leave a comment.
THE LIMIT OF MY COMPASSION
“My body was telling me not to leave. I didn’t listen…”
As I sat in meditation this morning a memory passed like a freight train through my mind:
I walked down the hallway to the shop, and bought a paper and a bottle of water. It must have taken me 3 – 5 minutes, but when I returned, the lounge was empty! The strangest feeling came over me – the heaviness in my body was now accompanied by a feeling of complete emotional emptiness, as if every cell in my body was hollow – as I realized what was about to happen.
would she radio the plane and ask the cabin crew if I could go down…
my wife was going away, my father was dying, please, I needed to get on that plane.
I put my feelings before his. How utterly selfish.
“The foot feels the foot when it feels the ground.”
And again I learnt that my Father was a great teacher.
(If you enjoyed this article, you might like: Tribute to my Father.)
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