Ben Ralston

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Jun 01 2010

COMMUNICATION, anger, and atheism

Recently, I read a very strong blog about atheism. I say strong because it’s well written, and the ideas put across are well thought out. But it’s also strong in another sense – there’s a lot of anger! In fact one of the key articles is: ‘Atheism and Anger’*.

As I read it I remembered something that Tony Samara once said:
“Anger is a lack of communication”.


Communication is CONTACT – contact between two separate centers of awareness; two minds. And through that contact, there is CONNECTION.


Feeling that connection is one of the most important things in life. Why? Because it’s REAL. We really are connected to everything around us!…

  • We are connected energetically through our solar plexus to the world around us.
  • We are connected through our actions – everything we do has an impact on our environment. Everything. Even taking a breath! Breathe in, and you accept the gift of oxygen that the trees constantly bestow. Breathe out and you give something back.
  • We are connected emotionally too – smile, and you spread a little warmth and happiness in the people who see your smile.
  • We are also connected psychically. Every thought you have sends a vibration out into the universe, like a radio signal. Think positively and the universe responds.
  • And you know what? We’re also intimately connected in a physical way as well – we NEED physical contact with other beings. We need to be touched, held, kissed, loved. It’s been proven that people who live alone die younger. Even if you only have a pet, statistically, you are more likely to live longer than someone who lives alone!

So we really are all connected in many ways that we usually don’t notice or give much thought to. It’s the truth. It’s reality. Truth and reality are what I’m interested in. I don’t care for anything as much as I care for getting closer to reality. And that, to me, is what communication is all about: getting closer to the truth.


(In case any skeptics are reading this, let me just say: my definition of truth is ‘something that I can prove through my own experience’. I put no faith in other people’s proof: whether they wear white coats or have letters before or after their name is of no interest to me whatsoever!)


When another being communicates with me, there is contact, and at the heart of that contact is something very real. Two minds meeting; two seemingly separate beings making contact and becoming more aware of the reality of the connection that underlies their existence. To me, that is what life is all about.


As I read that atheist’s blog, and I thought about all the anger that she feels, I understood her:  if I believed strongly that I was a totally separate being, with my consciousness created by my brain – locked away by skin and bone; with no possibility of ever having meaningful contact with another being – then hell, I’d be angry too!


But you know what? EVERY BELIEF YOU HAVE, IS A CHOICE YOU MAKE.
Beliefs are just habits.
It’s been demonstrated that they are very strong habits: many people would do anything, even die, to defend their beliefs. But they are just habits.
And we can drop habits anytime we like, as easily as dropping a glove, if we really choose to.


If you knew that, would you choose to defend a habit that makes you angry?Or would you re-evaluate what you consider to be ‘true’?
Because the truth of our beliefs is absolutely subjective! Truth, as we believe it to be, is subjective. It is relative. So why hold on to ANY belief?


I choose to believe in nothing. I choose to simply feel the world around me as it is.
I feel connected to the world around me through my solar plexus. I feel connected to other people and animals, and even rocks, and trees, and well, everything really, by the rhythmical flow through my veins; and the wind that I breathe; and the water that I drink; and by the planets’ orbits. I feel connected and that sense of oneness is blissful.
I choose to feel the bliss of that connection rather than the loneliness and fear of separation.


I choose to believe in everything. I see truth everywhere, and I know it to be at once both true and untrue. So how can I not believe it?!


Actually, I choose to believe that nothing is important: including, no, especially, my beliefs. The only thing that is at all important to me is how I feel. So I choose to feel good first, and to believe in what makes me feel good.


If I feel anger, I know that it is a sign that something in my life, in my environment, in my world, is wrong. Almost always it is because I have lost that feeling of connection. So I EXPRESS my anger; I communicate it, and immediately the sense of connection is restored.
Try it: next time you are angry, instead of just being angry, communicate the anger. Try saying out loud “this makes me angry because…”.
In that communication you begin to put right what is wrong. You begin to rebuild that delicate and subtle sense of connection that is so essential to your well-being and inner peace. It’s the only thing that really matters…


What do you believe? Do you feel angry about something?
Let’s communicate /make contact / connect – leave a comment!


With love…


*Thanks to Greta Christina and her blog for inspiring this article.

Written by Ben Ralston · Categorized: anger, atheism, funny, truth, Uncategorized

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