Ben Ralston

Heal yourself; heal the world

This article is a continuation of my series on healing. Healing to me is the same thing as personal development and spirituality: it means to bring balance to the self in order to live one’s highest potential. It must embrace every aspect of the person in order to be successful and lasting: physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual.
Today I had an email from a client that I worked with last month. I had two sessions with her over skype, and… well, I’m going to let these emails speak for themselves!
Subject
Healing
Sender
Recipient
Date
12.11.2010 16:28
“Hello Ben,
… I really struggle with stomach/digestive issues and have
been struggling for at least 15 plus years… as well as eating disorders (binge/overeating to be specific current day).
I have severe constipation (have tried almost every natural remedy to help but no relief).
I have been to numerous healers and therapists in attempt to heal myself.
I have completely changed my way of eating for the better within the past few years (still have major digestive issues).
I need your help. Many healers have told me that I hold most of my issues in my stomach/gut/intestines, which happens to be where the physical symptoms present themselves. It just seems that I have tried so many things and spent so much time and money and still do not feel as good as I believe I should or can.
I am striving for complete healing and feel that it is possible. I struggle with feeling hopeless because nothing seems to be working.
My stomach issues affect me on so many levels… emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually etc and I feel so desperate to get better…”
So, to summarize: this client, who I will call M, had a 15-year history of eating disorders, digestive problems, severe constipation, and the consequent feelings of hopelessness.
Compare the above email to this one, which I received from M today (note: my second and last session with her was 20th December, a month ago):
Subject
Hi Ben
Sender
Recipient
Date
Today 03:51
Hi Ben,
… I have been doing so well. Feeling better than I ever have. I am hesitant to even speak about it but at the same time so thankful and want to be aware and keep recognizing the positive changes that have occurred so far. I often find myself saying I can’t believe I feel as good as I do…
For the first time I feel hopeful and not stuck (like we talked about). I actually feel freer than I ever have. I haven’t had out of control cravings; I have been eating balanced meals… making better choices. I feel that I have been way calmer, balanced and am handling things better lately than I have in the past. I go to bed satisfied … and I wake up in no pain!
I have been going to the bathroom pretty regularly for me (maybe not for someone else but great for me!). Overall, I feel so so so much better and am still in shock about it all. So hard to believe I feel good, I am trying to trust that this is the way it is supposed to be and will be. I am trying to also remember that I am allowed to feel this good and it is my God given right to feel this way. I have had days where things have not been so great (my mood mostly or over eating) but I am able to work through those days and episodes a lot differently than I had before. I have a ways to go with what goes through my head and my eating/body issues but I am progressing! I feel that the work that we did has left me much more balanced and is helping me live rather than exist. I feel happier, I am allowing myself to feel.
Thank you again…”
I don’t know what to add!
This is the perfect example of a person who had problems (don’t we all?) but also had a sincere desire to take responsibility for those problems, and do something about it. In that situation, I can help, and it’s my great pleasure to do so!
I love to do this work because I know from my own experience that when we heal ourselves, we also heal our children: we make the world a better place for the generations to come.


Humanity is like a tree. If you want to take care of a plant, you nourish its roots. We, here and now, are the roots. The branches, flowers, and fruits will come later. We must take care of the roots now, so that the tree can grow beautiful and healthy and strong. That’s the intention behind this work.
It’s worth noting that M’s problems were both physical and emotional. Reference Point Therapy is a technique that works with consciousness itself: since our emotions and body are both simply expressions of our underlying consciousness, this work can help any problem.
What do you think – is it possible that an alternative healing modality can be so powerful? Do you have any experience of RPT yourself? Please share your opinion / experience by leaving a comment… and also give a facebook ‘like’, or share the article. Spread the love!
With love
Ben

Miraculous, instant healing!

I just did an amazing therapy session!
The client wanted to shift an emotional problem – he was finding himself ‘reacting’ negatively in certain situations. Specifially, he found himself feeling aggressive toward people for no good reason.
He gave this example: He had recently had a business meeting (he works in the sports industry). When the woman he was meeting with began to innocently describe how good her system of training was (inadvertently implying that his was less good) he suddenly felt aggressive towards her. Obviously, his sense of worth was threatened… but how to heal this?
Of course this was a big problem for him – in this instance it threatened not only his momentary emotional balance and mental clarity, but potentially also his long-term business and personal relationships.
We used the elegantly simple technique of RPT, and fully healed him not only of this problem – he also got more than he bargained for…
I guided the client through the ‘head, heart, gut’ process. As he visualized himself in the same business meeting again he was able to identify the thoughts that he had at the time.
As the woman stated how superior her work was, he immediately felt threatened and the thought (head) was:
“You’re talking nonsense”
He was also able to identify his emotional response (heart) to her statement: he was afraid.
However, he got stuck on the deeper feeling (gut). This is quite common – many people find it difficult to recognize the emotions and feelings that are causing their issues… but it’s never a problem, because my trusty intuition rarely lets me down.
I did it for him, and we found that in his gut there was a very strong sense of annihilation. As if his sense of worth being threatened also threatened his very existence.
At this point the client told me he had had several complications at his birth: in fact, he had almost died, and the doctors had had to revive him. He felt that perhaps this feeling of ‘annihilation’ was connected to that.
So, we worked on that deep ‘gut’ feeling in relation to his birth, and cleared it. I felt something ‘shift’ – the sign I always get when a healing is successful, and I told him that the session was over. However, there was a little surprise in store for us both!
As he got up to stretch he literally stopped in his tracks.
“That’s strange!” he said. “My back pain is gone”.
He did some exercises, stretching backwards, touching his toes, and found that his chronic back pain had also been healed!
The session took about an hour and half, and the client –from the comfort of his own home – released a serious emotional blockage, as well as healing a long term, extremely painful, bad back!


Thanks for reading – please give a facebook ‘like’ (unless you’re one of the few people on the planet who doesn’t use facebook!), share, and feel free to leave a comment. Thank you!

HEALING the trauma of sexual abuse

It’s taboo. It makes us feel uncomfortable.
But the statistics are staggering: it is estimated that 25% of girls and 17% of boys are sexually abused before the age of 18*.
The reason I want to write about this is that if you were abused, or if you know someone who was abused, I CAN HELP.


I am also one of those statistics: I was sexually abused by a teacher who became a ‘family friend’. From the age of 10 until about 16 I was repeatedly molested…


Sexual abuse causes us to feel small, powerless, weak, lonely, isolated, ashamed, guilty, and depressed. When it happens to a child there is a loss of innocence, a loss of trust, and a loss of openness. The results can be devastating…

I lived with the abuse for about 6 years. I lived with the consequences of that abuse for about 15 years before I told anyone. And that is what almost always happens – the abused child keeps quiet about it.


So many adults; people you know, have been abused as children, and have never told anyone. They live with that secret shame, guilt, and depression hidden deep in their subconscious. In my case it was so deeply hidden I had almost forgotten that it even happened! One day I suddenly remembered – “oh my God, I was sexually abused as a child!”


HOW CAN I HELP?


Until now, people who wanted to help themselves get over the consequences of abuse usually went to see a counsellor or a psychotherapist. They often had to spend many sessions, a lot of money, and a lot of time and energy reliving the trauma of those events. Often, the therapy was slow and inefficient. Why? Because most it focused on the trauma. In some cases, it actually re-inforced the trauma!
Well guess what? The trauma itself is not the problem! The trauma itself is in the past. It is what we have left over from the trauma, in the present – with us still, that is the real problem.
Trauma causes pain. It is the pain that is the problem – when we suppress that pain (as a defensive or survival mechanism) into our subconscious, we create a blockage. That subconscious blockage is the problem – it is often the cause of mental and emotional anguish; inability to trust; difficulty in letting go / relaxing; blockages towards sex and relationships; and many other very serious problems. These problems often lock people into a very difficult and painful cycle of abuse which can seem hopeless. But it’s not!


The point is: the trauma itself: the actual abuse, IS NOT THE CAUSE OF THE PROBLEMS – THE SUPPRESSED PAIN IS.


So, how can I help?
Well, I can help people to release that subconscious blockage – the suppressed pain – so that they can live their life FREE of the trauma of abuse. Not only that, but I can help them to strengthen their boundaries so that they no longer need to worry about being abused again. Because it’s a fact that people who are abused tend to get caught up in a cycle of abuse.


I met a woman who had 20 years of weekly psychotherapy sessions. She was constantly reliving the trauma of her childhood sexual abuse. Not only that – she had been abused in many ways, by many different people, throughout her adult life.
In one session of Reference Point Therapy (RPT), she freed herself from all of that. 


Now, I am not promising that one session is always enough. Nor am I saying that other therapies don’t work – please don’t misunderstand me. I know that there are other good therapists and healers out there!
However, there is a new way which is very fast, very simple, and very efficient. And it’s particularly useful for people who have been sexually abused – because they don’t have to talk about the abuse. The abuse – the trauma itself – is not the problem. And that’s great, because one of the reasons why people in the past didn’t even go to see a counselor is that it’s embarrassing and painful talking about what happened.


When a Reference Point Therapist heals trauma, s/he doesn’t need to know much about the trauma itself – it’s the feelings (pain) that came up at that time that are the real cause of the problem. All the information I need is:

  • what happened (abuse)
  • roughly when it happened (i.e. – about 10 years old)
And that’s it. With that information, I guide the client to the feelings that were suppressed, and we release them!

Please, if you or anyone you know was affected by abuse of any kind, let them know about Reference Point Therapy. You can help break the cycle of abuse.
It’s not necessary to live in the shadow of the past. It’s actually possible to easily, gently, and quickly release any blockage – and to begin to live fully in the present moment, free of the effects of trauma.

For more information:


As always I welcome your comments, thoughts, and ideas.
Were you abused? Do you know someone that has been affected by abuse? Do you know any other way in which trauma can be so easily treated? Do you have any questions about RPT?
Please feel free to contribute – you can always do so anonymously.
And if you think that this article is useful, share it.

(*Statistics taken from the Darkness to Light website)